Among the Weeds
Bumble bees. Hordes of humble bumbles buzzed from one golden dandelion flower to the next, blissfully unaware of the impending carnage coming their way.
Dandelions and other weeds took over my strawberry patch while I was preoccupied with other things. The other day, I started to haul everything out, strawberry plants included, and it occurred to me that weeding this square, raised garden bed was a great analogy for the process I’ve recently been going through.
Our lives are fertile ground. When regularly tended the good stuff is abundant – in this case, strawberries – like fun, joy, companionship, and love. If we let things get away from us and don’t pay attention to what we need to flourish, weeds will take over.
Digging down, down, down, my gumboots planted firmly, I attempted to haul out the largest dandelions. Their tap roots had marched so far under, straight down, it was impossible to get them out and I have no doubt they’ll slowly climb back to the surface over the coming months from the stub of root that remained.
I thought about those dandelion roots while the bumble bees became increasingly grumpy at losing their golden feast. Those roots are like the habits we forge early in life – they become so entrenched, and eventually flower, providing us with something we need at that time.
As our lives change some of those early habits no longer serve us, and while the flowers they offer may still be pretty and sweet, they don’t support our long-term health and well-being goals.
I may have lost you there with all those dandelions, so I’ll give you an example. When I was young, I learned to comfort myself through food. Eating high-calorie-dense foods, particularly sweets, gave me a hit of happy hormones and a boost of energy.
Over time, the habit of reaching for those foods whenever I was stressed – including physical, mental, or emotional pain – became so entrenched, that it was an autonomic response. Like those dandelions, the roots of this habit went deep, deep down.
Digging at the root of those habits is hard work and sometimes you don’t get to the bottom. When that’s the case, you have to figure out how to manage them in ways that support your long-term goals.
I still have a tendency to reach for high-calorie-dense foods when I’m in pain, stressed, tired, etc. I understand the origins of the habit and know that, like any habit, it can be broken, however, I’m still working on digging out the roots. In the meantime, I consciously make other healthier choices to fill this drive.
Our habits play a big role in our lives and we’re often unaware of them. The ones we form in the first years of life have the deepest roots and are connected to our autonomic nervous system. It drives our basic survival instincts, the fight or flight response that kicks in when we perceive a threat.
Other habits, like the daily after-work wine that slowly creeps from one glass to several and then a whole bottle, are examples of less entrenched habits, usually picked up during adulthood. It fills the same niche as my sweet food habit – giving a shot of happy hormones and calming your nervous system.
Every habit we have is learned, and when you’ve learned it, you can change it. Like the strawberry patch of my life, you can go for a complete overhaul, or selectively weed out the slow-creeping habits that no longer serve you.
I’ve upended my life like I did the strawberry patch, fishing out the helpful plants and tossing away the rest, adding new compost to nourish the plants I returned to the soil. In reality, this has meant stepping away from my previous existence in the world and giving myself time, space, and nourishment – food, joyful movement, and meditation.
Old habits are being examined and if they no longer serve my goal of a healthy, balanced life, I’m wrenching them out and planting new seeds.
We all deserve a flourishing, bountiful life. Does your strawberry patch need overhauling, or just some care and attention? Are you giving yourself enough of the good stuff to encourage growth, or neglecting yourself and letting the weeds strangle and overwhelm you?