Body beautiful
How many of us have shied away from living our fullest lives, from activities, people, the beach etc., due to the way we see our body?
The concept of body image is one that’s always fascinated me, largely because I’ve been conscious of my body and the idea that it wasn’t what was “normal” or expected. I learned very early in life that I was “fat” and to be that was a bad thing.
Growing up in the 1970s and 80s, the post-Twiggy world meant girls were meant to be stick thin, and then into the 90s it was muscular and thin, and then in the 2000s muscular, thin, and with a booty. Always thin – and I wasn’t.
The concept of a socially acceptable figure and size has changed significantly over the ages. Where an ample bosom and bottom was once all the rage – think Rubenesque – the petite slender frame of the 1920s flapper years morphed into Marilyn Munroe's sexy curves, and back to stick thin. There are still cultures around the world that revere a heavy woman with ample breasts and tummy rolls!
Social norms about a woman’s body are fluid and I honestly believe the preoccupation with body image is a diversionary tactic to ensure women, in particular, are focused on their weight rather than the more pressing issues of the world! Imagine what we can do if we stop focusing on what size we are – what we look like – and instead concentrate on our unique characteristics and the skills we contribute.
I’ve been flummoxed recently by social media commentary about the female athletes’ bodies at the Olympics. The vitriol about body mass index, sparked by negative comments on a particular women’s rugby sevens player is horrific, and I’ve since turned off the feed.
Even the “positive” articles and commentary about the diversity of female bodies at the Olympics highlight the sheer idiocy of the situation. Surely they are all athletes – men and women alike – and what their bodies look like has nothing to do with the magnitude of their achievements.
They have all been through rigorous selection processes to compete, relentless training schedules, specific dietary requirements to support their physical endeavours, and given up a regular existence to become athletes representing their country on the biggest sporting stage in the world.
This preoccupation with what a woman’s body looks like has caused so much damage, from disordered eating to women’s sense of shame at their bodies. It’s endemic across most of the world and it has to stop!
Let’s face it, I get it. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to fit into society’s ideal of what I “should” look like, and you know what I’ve come to after all these years? It’s impossible because the concept of a perfect body is impossible.
I’m working to develop a loving relationship with my body, and seeking to create a balanced, healthy lifestyle. I want to do certain things, for example, work physically in my gardens and on our property for as long as possible, which requires a certain level of physical fitness and strength.
After spending years doing punishing fitness routines I’m instead adopting an approach of joyful movement – moving in ways that I enjoy, like gardening, hiking, practicing yoga, and wielding some of my tools like the chainsaw and weed-eater.
Any activity that gets me moving with purpose, rather than slogging away in a gym to achieve a certain body or size, is the biggest shift I’ve made. A key component of this is avoiding overdoing it so my nervous system isn’t triggered, and as an act of love – I don’t need to continue to beat my body into submission.
If you’re unable to look at your naked body in a mirror, love and appreciate what you see, the vessel you’ve been given to move through the world, and the effects of that journey, then it’s time to make some changes. Take a moment to be grateful for one thing about your body daily – it may not undo years of social conditioning, but it’s a place to start.
How we talk to ourselves about our body and what we say to others is impactful. If you’re constantly telling yourself “I’m fat” in a derogatory way you’re causing yourself stress, and guess what stress does? It creates elevated cortisol levels, which impact what you eat and how much fat your body stores.
Try talking to yourself as you would a good friend. It might be cliched, but it works. You’re unlikely to say to your best friend, “Oh, look how fat your thighs are. There’s so much cellulite it looks so revolting.” You’re unlikely to comment on their body unless it’s about a great outfit.
Curate what you watch and listen to – I’ve limited my social media exposure and spring-cleaned my apps.
The world is full of images and song lyrics designed to make us feel less than. Buying cosmetics, hair products, body-shaping underwear, etc., keeps the economic wheels moving, our attention firmly on how imperfect we are and what we must have to attain perfection.
Guess what? We’re all perfectly imperfect, that’s the point.
Move your body like you love it.
Feed it like you love it.
Talk to yourself with love.
Figure out how you want to live, and the goals you want to achieve, and then start creating the steps you need to get there. Focus on those things and nourish yourself to support those goals – that’s how you create a healthy, balanced life in a body you love.
(Oh, and in case you didn’t know, this includes a body with cellulite, tummy rolls, big thighs, thin thighs, scrawny arms, chubby arms, wrinkles, grey hair, big breasts, small breasts, scars, bumps, lumps (I’d maybe get those checked out)... You get what I mean.)