Boxed in
Breaking free from a box of beliefs is a time-consuming, exhausting, liberating, and emotional process, and I have to wonder what’s on the other side.
On my hill hike this morning, relishing the clean, fresh air and sparkle of the sun after torrential rain, I pondered the beliefs I’ve operated under throughout my life.
Uncovering these beliefs and examining whether they serve me, at this stage of life, is a key aspect of my transformation journey.
Whether they relate to my body, health, or worth, understanding the beliefs that are boxing me in is essential to making the changes I need to move forward, and honestly, there are days when I feel I’m still firmly trapped in the box.
What we believe matters. As psychologists have discovered time and time again, what we believe drives our behaviours, what we feel, think, and do. It impacts how we see ourselves and others, our choices, and ultimately the type of life we have.
Our core beliefs are established from our birth through to around age seven, and they dictate every aspect of our lives. They help us to make sense of the world, and they’re meant to keep us safe.
The problem is that most of us don’t grow up in “ideal” conditions, therefore, our belief structure, the box that defines our existence, may well restrict our growth, inhibit our potential, and actively keep us locked in destructive behaviour patterns.
I’ll give you a few personal examples. Last week, I did a fascinating somatic workshop online with Leandra Rose (no, I don’t get any kickbacks for mentioning her). In this workshop, I focused on my beliefs about wealth and business.
The basic premise is to write down your current reality, your feelings about it, and the beliefs you think may be impacting this reality. My beliefs are tied to my childhood – you must work hard to earn a living, money doesn’t grow on trees, paying taxes is bad, and we’re not wealthy.
Having money was a “bad” thing, being seen to have money or any symbols of wealth was a “bad” thing, and it was almost a competition among farmers to show how difficult things were financially. It bonded the community in some ways because everyone was suffering.
My beliefs about money were set in this environment of scarcity, with wealth being a negative. I’ve always said that money isn’t what motivates me, and it still isn’t. However, I’d also like to build a business where I earn a good income, being paid what my knowledge and expertise are worth.
Unfortunately, my money beliefs are also tied to those about self-worth. A sense of lack, of never being enough or having enough, saw me undersell my abilities and not trust myself.
The second part of the process is to visualise the future I’m building, how I want to feel, and the beliefs I need to create it. I’ve continued to identify more beliefs I’m butting up against, as they tie me to my current existence.
The final step is visualizing bringing the future into my current reality. At the time, I felt some real shifts. Since then, those pesky old beliefs have kept cropping up, and I continue to jot them down and identify the new beliefs I need to keep moving forward.
As Leandra said during the workshop, when you hit resistance, you know you’re on the verge of a breakthrough, and that’s certainly what’s happening. Old behaviour patterns have reared their heads as the fear of progressing rattles my nervous system.
Like all transformations, it’s a process, and it’s fascinating looking into the emotions connected to these old beliefs. Releasing these is a key aspect of the work because it’s the energy of the emotions weighing us down, keeping us stuck.
Beliefs are one of the pillars of a healthy, balanced life. I’ve explored this concept and my beliefs in different ways over many years, and as I change and grow, I find greater depths, more layers.
I firmly believe we evolve and grow as humans at the pace we’re meant to. I’m currently in a phase of pushing through and breaking down the beliefs that kept me boxed in, trapped in a cycle of self-doubt, fear, and nervous system overload.
The process of transforming myself started with the physical, the need to remove excess stored body fat for my health, and that’s happened. Along the way, I’ve gone far deeper and changed my fundamental operating system, pulling together a lifetime of learning and continuing to discover more.
The deeply embedded beliefs are the next layer, and as I pull those walls down, I’m excited to see what’s to come. After all, beliefs are learned, and anything learned can be unlearned.
What beliefs are driving your behaviours? Are you still operating on outdated, unhelpful, and downright destructive programming?