Yes, I did cover The Art of Gratitude a couple of months back, and if you haven’t read it, jump on back there.
Everything starts with gratitude, including self-love, and that’s what these second weekly posts are about - practical tools to foster self-love as part of a balanced life.
There’s a reason gratitude practice has become a catchphrase for modern living – it works!
I have this little ritual. It reminds me of the character Katniss Everdeen from the final Hunger Games movie (yep, I’m a weird movie nerd and I love that about myself). She’s talking to her baby in the final scene:
“Did you have a nightmare? I have nightmares too. Someday I'll explain it to you. Why they came. Why they won't ever go away. But I'll tell you how I survive it. I make a list in my head. Of all the good things I've seen someone do. Every little thing I could remember. It's like a game. I do it over and over. Gets a little tedious after all these years, but... There are much worse games to play.”
I make a list, every morning, in my head.
I make a list of all the things I’m grateful for. I start with little things like my pillow, which is falling to pieces and I refuse to give it up because finding another is an atrocious process. The soft sheets, the space of our bedroom, my husband, who’s probably already downstairs making my morning cuppa because he’s an early riser. So much gratitude there.
I’m also grateful for my body, the physical shell that takes me through my days. Just saying it daily, I’m grateful for my body – that’s the magic. It can be tough at first, so start small with just a part of your body and go from there.
Being grateful for little things and moments throughout the day is a game-changer as it alters your body chemistry, boosts serotonin and dopamine – the happy hormones – and helps shift your energy.
Practicing gratitude for your whole body is an act of self-love. It’s a step towards building a different relationship with yourself. So many women, in particular, constantly criticise themselves, bemoaning their physical appearance. Rarely do we take the time to be grateful for the vessel we live in.
For years I did battle – as you know from the Ultimate Battle edition. It’s been shockingly difficult to love and accept my body exactly as it is.
One small ritual I found exceptionally useful came from a book on kindness that I read a while back, the title and author I’ve completely forgotten so I apologise to the author (I’ve somewhat modified it from the original).
For the first week, stand in front of a mirror, look into your eyes, and say “I love you”.
Second week do the same thing, adding your name.
Third week look into a full-length mirror and repeat the same thing (if you don’t have a full-length mirror, step as far back as you can from your usual one while still being able to see into your own eyes - and get a full-length one already).
Week four is the really tough one – repeat the week three challenge NAKED. Yep.
For some of you, this may sound like a nightmare. It gets easier with time.
I’ve never had an issue with looking at myself in a mirror. My issue was being super critical of different parts of my body. The thing is, I’m not my body. It’s a vessel and a damn good one at that.
Cultivating deep gratitude, kindness and love for yourself is a journey. It can be a hellishly bumpy road when we’re being bombarded by messaging designed to make us feel bad about ourselves.
Loving your whole self is a journey worth taking because it leads to greater joy, peace, and fulfillment, or at least it has for me.
So, your homework is to start a daily gratitude practice and the kindness exercise above – give it a whirl and let me know how you go.